Shit Happens

This was written a couple of weeks ago, but I was only able to get to an solid internet connection connection to do a proper post.

They call it Montezuma’s revenge in Mexico, but I don’t know what they call it in the Philippines. Regardless, for three days now I’ve been suffering. And this post is totally going to be TMI, so if you don’t want to hear about shit, then stop reading now because we’re going to talk about shit. For today – some shit happened.

After these days of shit-sickness, I had to make a 30-40 minute boat ride from one island to another and then a 3-4 hour car ride to the hotel. Needless to say, I was extremely worried about shit. I took medicine and hoped for the best. There for a while, shit looked hopeful, but just yards away from the docking area, the shit fear I’d been harboring turned into all out shit horror as I made it known the necessity of my exiting the boat as quickly as humanly possible to deal with some pending shit.

About halfway to this bathroom they claimed was “just right here” but seemed to be miles away, I realized I wasn’t going to make it. And then… shit happened. Right in front of a shitload of people, shit happened and it happened right in my shorts. Shitty shorts then, as it were. As I wandered into the ocean to hide my shitty shame, I tried to ignore the fact that a crowd was gathering to watch the crazy foreign woman shit her pants before up and deciding to take a swim.

Nadia scrambled to find another pair of shorts for me and broke her favorite sandal in the process, as I did my best to wash the shit off of myself and then made a shitty walk of shame to the bathroom that I had failed to get to in time. A typical Filipino bathroom – with no running water and no toilet paper, so not exactly useful to me except for the privacy after-the-fact. So Nadia had to bring me some of that as well. Eventually I got shit cleaned up and we went on our now less shitty way.